Get Focused

Dating Tip #6: Make TWO lists. The first list is everything you WANT to call into your relationship. Dream big and write as many things as you want. These are your preferences. Next, go through the list and ask yourself: Do I NEED this to feel happy and loved? Your second list should be much shorter as that is your DEALBREAKERS list.   

I have seen people realize during this exercise that they've been limiting their dating options because they are vetting based on their preferences. I tell my clients- be crystal clear about dealbreakers, but be open-minded about preferences.

For example, Ella* came in with college degree as a strong preference. When she did this exercise, she realized financially security was the dealbreaker.  A few months later, she fell madly in love with a contractor, who had his own business, but lacked a four-year degree.  She admits she would never have considered him before making her lists. What’s on your list?

*name changed for privacy